Thursday, February 25, 2016

'fess sesh

Skinamarinky-linky-linking up with Jess today for...


I confess...

Low blood sugar for me feels like the poppy field scene in Wizard of Oz. Zero desire to move, to do anything. Just want to lie in a field of flowers and lay there... Speaking of which, going on walks lately has been making me hypoglycemic lately. Bizarre. I guess it's my body's way of saying, "What is this? You're EXERCISING? Haven't done THAT in a while!"





Scenes from family walks this week, haha!

I think I'm legitimately getting old, in that my back huuuuurts when I get out of bed in the mornings. Granted, it's been happening after nights when Lilly has joined us in bed and I have to contort myself a bit to make sure she won't fall off the bed but also won't push her face up against any suffocatable surface. But I used to be able to do it more painlessly. 

I'm like 1 for 6 when it comes to New Years Resolutions and Lent sacrifices. I'm also not Catholic or even Methodist anymore (card-carrying Baptist now, where no one observes Lent), I just really like goal setting, but I've sucked at all of it. The most important thing I need to be continuously attaining for us reading the bible. I was doing it daily and getting so much out of it but then I got behind. I didn't want to hit the "Catch Me Up" button on my Bible In a Year plan but I may need to since I'm getting further behind bemoaning where I'm stuck. All or nothing much?#badhabits #characterflaws??

Last week's fun concert and girls night plans got thrown to the wind when I got Lilly's awful stomach bug. It was literally the worst virus I can remember and left our whole family quarantined / out of pocket for the entire weekend. It may have been God intervening for us to quit being so social and spend time with each other for once, since i'd even mentioned that being something we were in dire need of last week. Well... We got it!

The only way I've ever gotten out of bed for a 5am hot yoga class is when I have to teach them (minus maybe two times before that EVER). And when I do teach, I'm out of commission for at least 8am - 11a to try to make up for missed sleeper. Too bad Lilly doesn't give a sh*t about that preference today! 



Good thing she's cute!

I totally forgot how amazing Trader Joe's is until I stumbled in there Tuesday when I had time to spare in Green Hills. Holy $3 mozzarella chubs! So much deliciousness at amazing prices! And in July THERE WILL BE WINE!!!


Homemade Pizza, brought to you by ingredients purchased at TJ's!

I'm constantly bemoaning to Drew the fact that our cats have a terrible quality of life // complaining that I'm an awful cat mom. In reality, they're fed, provided a warm home with thousands of soft surfaces to sleep on, kept indoors away from predators and cars and the elements, given two nasty but functional litter boxes and a private suite to do their business (i.e. Our bonus room storage space -- an ingenious idea I had one night after several glasses of wine, I do believe), and a water fountain with circulating water. They've got it pretty cushy, honestly. I feel bad (#momguilt) because they used to be my "babies" but then I had a real baby and now they're nuisances / "just cats" / irritating and loud as F. I don't pet them very often and we don't change their litter often enough and George is obese because we feed them Purina, which I've been told by a cat authority is like French fries for cats. We don't play with them or take them for walks (ha!) and there are no mice for them to chase (thank God!). And sometimes when I think about how long of a lifespan a cat has, I think what the hell were we thinking?! Because now we're stuck with them because I made a vow and I will uphold that vow. But I will never get another damn cat and I TOTALLY get now why all the moms growing up seemed to be animal haters. [insert hand-raised emoji] (Disclaimer: "Animal-Hater Moms" are obviously NOT animal haters, that's the issue! We just got in over our heads in our youth and now they're yet another entity we must keep alive despite them annoying us daily. But rest assured we'll still bawl when they die and we have to bury their tragic lifeless bodies out under the pines.) 



Seriously? I feel sorry for this? No.
______

That's all for now! I feel confident I'll never lack in things to confess every week, so see you next Thurs:)

Thursday, February 18, 2016

'fess sesh

It's link-up time!

I confess...

I love love love breastfeeding. It's my favorite thing. I love the bonding, nourishing baby from my own body, the calories burned, the big(ger) boobs, the fact that I alone can comfort her in that way, the physical relief of her feeding, how precious she is when she requests eating, all of it. It's certainly made me much less self-conscious after almost ten months of pulling out my boobs, and it goes by so much quicker now than it did in those early days of hour-long nursing sessions. Biting suuuuucked (umm last week) but it seems like we've moved past that, thank goodness!! Bleeding into my bra -- no bueno. But along the confessionals line, I totally plan to breastfeed her as long as she wants. Unless I have to stop for some reason, she can wean when she's ready. And I'll probably weep when that day comes.


(I also confess I would share any of the hundreds of BFing selfies I have, but I'm afraid my mom would read this and disapprove... so here's the first time I BF in public. And one of the few times it was with a cover. ;) )

They played one of the songs I used to hear regularly in my prenatal yoga class, in our mama-baby yoga class Monday. It immediately conjured a wave of emotion -- remembering that anticipation, uncertainty, the feeling that "she can stay here safely in my womb forever", remembering the stress of frequent doctors appointments, the anxiety of last winter, and the overwhelming sense that this time is precious and sacred and going fast and will never happen again. I try to enjoy every single moment while it lasts (and seriously, we have so much fun with this perfect little girl) but it feels like so much pressure to soak up everything when you're also juggling the other areas of life too (health, marriage, faith, work, emotions, relationships, etc). There just isn't enough capacity to take it all in. I feel a literal ton of internal pressure to make the most of whatever subsequent pregnancy I experience (provided I get the opportunity to carry another child) because that will most likely be our last. That makes me sometimes want to wait a longer time in order to maximize it. And then other times I want children close in age, so I think about a sooner timeframe. Sometimes I want to "get it over with" so my body can recover fully and completely, but then I worry I'm going to miss the chance to fully appreciate it as it is now (since it probably won't be as elastic next time?). In other words -- I'm torn. And actually find some of the overwhelming aspects of all-encompassing maternal love to be negative. (Not the love itself but the overwhelm and desperation and sense of doom it can bring.) It literally hurts to love this much, so much so I can't think about it often and still function in the world. Is that the root of all postpartum depression?

Lilly caught a stomach virus Tuesday night and was up at all hours puking. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen. She's the sweetest little girl -- smiling, singing, and babbling in between feeling horrible and losing her lunch. I also now have a track record for crying when I see her in physical distress. Thank God I have a mom who's a nurse who answers her phone in the middle of the night when we don't know what to do / if we should take her to the ER / that the pediatrician's office also answers their phone for midnight calls too. And thank God this was just an 8 - 12 hour bug that did not require any additional doctors' visits. My sister's family has been sick in Georgia this week too. Stomach bugs SUCK!


(sleepy sick baby)

Opportunities for Drew and I to sit down and have an actual conversation where we look at each other in the face and talk, undistracted, are very few and far between. It really causes a strain, too! You don't realize how much that uninterrupted communication matters until you don't get it for a long time. It's too easy to be ships passing in the night / watch TV or be glued to our phones / focus solely on entertaining bebe when we're together (especially with long hours of busy tax season). We had a pretty discouraging conversation with some really great couple-friends who are in their 40s-50s over the weekend, since they said it doesn't get easier -- you just get used to doing things independently and don't crave that constant togetherness after a while, when your kids get older and life gets busier. We're going to make it more of an effort to prioritize time together since that is one of our primary love languages. And maybe we will get more accustomed to independence within our marriage, but hopefully in a positive way. :/ Regardless, we did get a chance earlier this week to sit on the couch after Lilly went down and talked through where we see our future going and what some potential paths are before us. It's kind of crazy that we're making plans for "when we're 30" and it's not that far off. It's also bizarre to think we were newly married at 23 and almost four years have passed so quickly. Drew says he feels like it's flown by and it has in some ways, but I also feel like we've been married forever and a million things have happened since we said "I do." Insanity to think what can happen in another 3.5 years. AHHH!

After changing the sheets and doing a million loads of linen laundry from Lilly's vomiting spells, I managed to not fasten her diaper securely this morning and now there's a huge pee stain on our mattress. Grrrrreat! I confess I was grateful I hadn't showered yet when I napped with her this morning after teaching my 5am hot yoga class, since we BOTH had to get baths after this uh-oh! Now, onto seeing how effective baking soda is at getting out pee...


(after bathtime this morning)

Left to my own devices, I'm afraid all I would ever eat would be egg sandwiches, string cheese, and ice cream. Not because I love those foods all that much (they get old so fast!), but I am THAT lazy / cheap / don't care to cook. Thank God Drew is the cook in the family. It's just these days I have to fend for myself (#busyseason) that I eat terribly.

_____

Got any good confessions of your own today? Anyone care to contribute to the "Kelly needs a vacation desperately after this helluva week" fund? I have a girls' night tentatively planned for Saturday and Drew and I are going to a concert tonight (is this the year of concerts for me or what?), so maybe those things + warmer temps this weekend will make up for all the pissy laundry. Ha!

Friday, February 12, 2016

five on friday

It's that time again!


ONE

I have the sweetest brides ever. My April bride mailed LB this gorgeousness.


She's the Lilliest Lilly there ever was! #spoiled


TWO



The resurgence of Thursday Confessions has thinking again about Leslie Sisti, the blogger who passed away last July from a heart defect, leaving her husband and two daughters under 2 years old. I know that blogging isn't the "real world" and I did not know her or her family personally, but her death hit me really hard last July (it's just so unfathomable to think of her young daughters growing up without her, and for her husband to lose his wife so so so early), and I think of their family often. They remain in my prayers... I hope they're continually finding peace in the wake of grief.


THREE



I've been working on my embroidery machine this week since LB & I were snowed in up until last night. Result? The purchases of many designs on etsy, the discovery and download of Embrilliance Express, some Lilly Pulitzer fabric swatches getting shipped to me from Florida, and an embarrassing stockpile of blank children's t shirts from Old Navy. #ihaveaproblem #cantstopwontstop #monogramallthethings I learned yesterday how to embroider with multiple colored thread (spoiler: it's ridiculously easy)... now I just need to get on appliqué! 

FOUR

I am OB-SESSED with Nothing But Thieves. I tend to be really picky and weird about music -- despite living in Music City, I've never been a huge music person. I never went to concerts, really (I've only been to two legitimate ones, and those were within the last year and a half -- needtobreathe and Tool -- eclectic, right?). Upon listening to / discovering new music, my tendency is to either be vehemently against it, totally ambivalent about it, or rarely, absolutely obsessed. There's not a ton of middle ground. Drew introduced me to Nothing But Thieves on Saturday and pitter-patter my heart... I can't stop listening.

FIVE


This year has been go, go, go since day one. I'm not complaining about the abundance of social interaction we've got to enjoy EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, but as Drew mentioned to me on the phone earlier, it makes our time go by so much faster. The weeks are just flying by! I try to not glorify busyness and say no when I need to, but the days are just packed.

____


Do you have big Valentine's day plans? I came close to buying an Easter garland at Target earlier so I can string it up Sunday night after our low-key family date night (of eating something Drew makes at home). I used up the last of our heart printed striped straws today and we've enjoyed our "love you" embroidered table runner for a week, so I guess that's as festive as we're getting for V day. Ah well! Have a frabjous weekend, all!

country ham & cheddar quiche

Last month Lilly & I went to a brunch playdate and had the most divine quiches of my life. (And lemon curd fruit tartlets and mimosas, but I digress...) It definitely got me on a "kick" -- I've had quiche in the past, some good and some definitely not so great. Quiche can be super easy, convenient to keep in the freezer and pop in the oven if you have surprise guests, a way to get rid of random refrigerator contents, you name it! It's also one of the few breakfasty things I can usually eat without having to worry about my blood sugar. The high protein content + being relatively low-carb (especially if you don't chow down on the entire crust) makes it delicious and diabetic-friendly. Plus you can make it all kinds of fancy by adding fresh herbs, mixing and matching types of cheese and meats... mouth watering over here. 

I decided to attempt my own yesterday after an insatiable craving for one. We had a good deal of legit country ham left in freezer from past years' haul from "Sausage Man" (the hog raiser my grandmother frequents around the holidays to stock up on the family's pig needs), so I thawed a couple slices out and made an emergency run to Publix to get more cheese (there are few things you can get really excited about eating as a diabetic, but cheese is DEFINITELY one of them!). I mixed together a few recipes from Pinterest and came up with this one.

Country Ham & Cheddar Quiche


2 slices country ham
2 green onions, diced

Trim bone and fat from ham; cut remains into 2" pieces. Cover ham & scallions with water in skillet, cook on medium heat.

3/4 cups shredded cheddar cheese
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
sprinkle nutmeg
dash kosher salt
dash freshly cracked black pepper
1 premade pie crust

Press ham, onions, and cheese into pie crust. Beat eggs, cream & milk, and seasonings until mixed. Pour into pie crust.

Bake at 375 degrees for 45 - 60 minutes, or until quiche has puffed and browned.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

'fess sesh

Today I'm linking up with Jess for Confessional Thursday!


I confess:

My version of cooking dinner is throwing together Caesar salad. I would say having a baby made it this way but I honestly never really cooked real food consistently.

No me gusta winter. We've been snowed in the past three days, so my body hasn't seen the light of day since. Come on, springtime!

My tendency is to speak in Spanglish to Lilly. I don't know why I subconsciously expect her to understand it when she doesn't even speak English, but I frequently ask her "¿Quieres más leche?" and "¿Tienes hambre?" and whatever other tiny phrases my mind can conjure up of broken Spanish from my four years in high school/college.

Speaking of Spanish, I mentioned to Drew last night that I somewhat think we'll end up living somewhere where Spanish is the common language one day. (Granted, it could be America in a couple decades...) But regardless, I have a huge affinity for certain Latino cultural aspects. Like some Spanish nightclub music and "La Bamba." And "Shake Señora." And avocado and tacos and margaritas and the beach. So essentially I'm envisioning living at a Mexican resort one day...?

Breastfeeding has never been hard for me (I thank my lucky stars -- estrellas, right? -- daily!), but Lilly started biting last week and I'm dying. She draws blood, y'all!! Daily! We're working on it, but it makes me reconsider my original intent to nurse her until kingdom come.

Since my New Years resolution to stop drinking fell flat, I've resorted to giving it up for Lent. Along with ice cream. I figure that will help since I tend to drink wine to combat high glucose from eating ice cream. One day strong, haha!

Drew made me watch the X Files last night. The first episode was funny so I agreed to watch the most recent one (Trashman) and it was horrible, violent, graphic, and nightmare-conjuring. Never again.

----
What do you confess today?



Wednesday, February 10, 2016

sausage baked ziti

For Fat Tuesday, we had one of our favorite ultra-fattening meals:  sausage baked ziti! My sister found the recipe a few years ago and it's a mega-favorite with the fam. We even stayed an extra day in Savannah this past Christmas so that Drew could have his fix (among other reasons... admittedly, an extra day at the beach was also a draw). 

Since I have T1D we don't indulge near as much as we used to, but this is definitely a favorite for making new parents, sick friends, bringing over to parties, etc. Kids love it, you can make it as spicy as you want (just add more red pepper and use spicy sausage for a kick!), and who doesn't love flavorful cheese + meat + pasta?

Couple of sidenotes:  I love the Parmesan (it's lasted me at least 5 months!) and mozzarella from Costco. Cheap cheese? Sign me up, bro! We use hot Tennessee Pride sausage and BotaBox Redvolution wine (which is also what I drink as an accompaniment to bring down my high blood sugar from all the pasta, too!).

Skillet Sausage Baked Ziti
adapted from 



2 (15-oz) can diced tomatoes
1 lb Italian sausage (hot), casings removed
6 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups water
12 oz ziti
1/2 cup red wine
1 oz Parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 chopped fresh basil
4 oz mozzarella cheese, shredded
Preheat oven to 475 F.
Set a 12-inch skillet over medium heat and add the sausage. Cook until the sausage is no longer pink, using a wooden spoon to break the sausage up and stir occasionally. Add the garlic and red pepper flakes and cook just until fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Stir in the tomatoes and the salt (if you’re not using a nonstick pan, now is a good time to scrape the bottom of the pan to release the browned bits). Reduce the heat to medium-low and allow the mixture to simmer gently for about 10 minutes, or until the tomatoes don’t taste raw anymore.
Add the water and pasta to the pan (the pan will probably be quite full, just stir gently to prevent overflow). Cover the pan and turn the heat up to medium to medium-high (adjust as necessary to maintain a vigorous simmer). Cook, stirring frequently to prevent the pasta from sticking to the bottom of the pan, for about 15 minutes, or until the pasta is tender. The pasta will not have absorbed all the liquid in the pan.
Add the wine, Parmesan cheese, and basil to the pan. Stir to incorporate, then season to taste with salt and pepper. Top the pasta with the mozzarella cheese then transfer the pan to the oven and bake for about 10-12 minutes, or until the cheese has melted and browned.

Enjoy!

Friday, February 5, 2016

five on friday

ONE

Let's talk leggings. Also known as my favorite pants. I'm all about wearing legitimate pants too, but ain't nobody got time for those every day. As a yoga teacher and mom, I looooove athleisure attire. Lululemon is a favorite but I can't stomach their pricing. I have one pair of Astro crops from them that I adore (and they're a great basic!), but I've been on the lookout for years for workout attire that isn't insanely expensive but still has that high quality. I'm really picky about leggings. I'm not a fan of the "leggings" that are actually just footless tights (which give leggings as actual pants a bad rap). I was disappointed that the Blanqi pre/postnatal leggings of Instagram lore are glorified tights, and my beloved neon coral pair showed off basically my entire naked lower half when I watched them in action in a mirrored barre class. My fleece-lined White Plum and Anthro leggings are also just dang tights.

I've heard people singing praises of Zella (from Nordstrom) leggings for months. I chalked it up to them just being brand reps and getting free goodies initially. But then I tried them on. Holy batman, these are good leggings!!!! Thick, warm, ample coverage. Look like PANTS. Great waistband (not too high or too low, not too constructing but not fall-down like my poor cheap Target ones I wore throughout pregnancy). Long enough but not too long. Perfect fit. And half the price of Lulus! I haven't bought them yet, but I'm definitely going to.

Also - these. Would buy these in an INSTANT if I weren't panicking over taxes I accidentally evaded and a home budget crisis. They're infinitely perfect. Soft, comfortable, great fitting, perfect print. I would wear these every day of my life, easily. Wish list?!?


TWO

I know Valentine's Day is coming faster than a freight train, but I'm REALLY excited about Easter. Bring on the bunnies, chicks, ducks, sweet christening gowns and smocked dresses with crosses. I love love love love love spring and pastels and warm weather and white everything and the most significant holiday there is. I'm not so much into the whole Easter Bunny thing. Why cloud Christianity's cornerstone with a stupid scary giant rabbit? I highly doubt I'll take Lilly to sit in the Easter Bunny's lap or anything, but I'm fine with egg hunts when she's older and doing some small Easter basket as long as our focus as a family is always on church and the real meaning. And maybe I'll host a legit Easter brunch!!! Brunch is the best meal anyways!!

THREE

Candles are my jam right now. I used to hate them in high school and college but now that I have a house, I love burning beautifully scented candles all the time. Love Target's soy line. Got the Island Coconut and Coastal Linen ones last weekend. We still need a good oceany-smelling one but I'm super picky.


FOUR

I got an eyebrow pencil after seeing some really pretty eyebrows of friends'. Heavy coloring-in is not so flattering on me (blonde middle eastern?) but the "mascara" portion is proving to be great.

FIVE

I think I may have finally worn out my beloved daily habitual breakfast. (Sandwich thin + two eggs + avocado + black pepper & garlic salt) I made the mistake of having it for dinner and it's not sounding nearly so appealing anymore. Too much of a good thing? What to do as a diabetic? Maybe I'll get more into quiche... I had a moment with those a couple weeks back. Do any of you eat the same thing EVERY SINGLE DAY until you wear it out?


Thursday, February 4, 2016

check-ins for resolve

It's February, so time to check in with goals and see progress / room for improvement / victories and pitfalls.

(We have teeth)

  1. Wake earlier -- For the most part, I have woken around 8/830a. Not as early as I'd love to report, but better than last year. And this year we have TEETH!
  2. Make healthier choices -- Eaten more salads, made more effort to work out. Not perfect but PROGRESS, yes!
  3. Put Lilly on a more consistent sleep / nap schedule -- Getting there. Not perfect. But she's napped more often in her crib and we're working on bedtime + sleeping in her nursery.
  4. Go sober -- Ehhhh... This was not a perfect effort either. Granted my intake is much less than normal and used solely for managing blood sugar. It also makes me hella tired. How did I ever have more than one glass and stay awake???
  5. Keep house tidier on a consistent basis -- Progress on making the bed, keeping up the living room, kitchen maintenance, downstairs half bath. Needs work on bedroom, nursery, master bath, bonus. 



Things I can strive for for the remaining 25 days of the month:
  1. Get taxes squared away. Stress less!
  2. Start Lilly a savings account. Waiting on her official birth certificate to do so.
  3. Book summer vacation spots.
  4. Organize master closet so I can see what I have, what I need, and what I need to stop buying!